Funny Meme Face Stupid but Funny Jokes

Science Jokes

          Q: What is a paramecium?        

          A: Ii latin mice        

          
                      Q: What did the femur say to the patella?        

          A: I kneed you lot        

          Q: Where does a hippopotamus go to university?        

          A: Hippocampus        

          Q: What'south the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?        

          A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.        

          
                      Q: What did the biologist couple proper noun their twins?        

          A: One was Jessica and the other one was Control        

What does an anatomist requite you when she is mad?
A scowl-ple

Why did the student fail the cadaver lab?
She merely couldn't cut it

I heard hamburger has less energy than steak because hamburger is in the footing land.

• What does 1 do with a expressionless trunk? Barium in a krypt-on
• Maybe he was killed oxydentally.
• They should have seen the doctor get-go, he'd Curium.
• Ah, barium anyway, just to see how he reacts.
• better though to have helium.
• Perhaps with a housplant, a Germanium.
• And if they stole it, the law would Cesium.
• Locked upward for life, in Irons.
• They would go crazy in jail, a Silicon.

The politically-enlightened chemistry student protested by carrying a scout sign that stated: "Gratis Radicals Now!"

The all-time chemists would definitely not be pet owners. Their idea of a catalyst:

• 2 bags of cat litter
• 3 cans of cat food
• 1 can of flea powder
• 1 collar

Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his mill? His business concern went insolvent.

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses v feet to the correct. The statistician yells, Yes! Nosotros got 'em!"

Science (definition):
-- a detail area of study
-- doing stuff in a lab that would be a felony in your garage.

1 flask says to the other flask, "Cool it! You're Over-reacting!

What gas never cries? Nitrous Oxide (Laughing Gas)

What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer? Hygrogens!

viii sodium atoms walk into a bar... followed by Batman. (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na - BATMAN!)

•  What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa!
• Teen 1: Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?? Teen two: OMg!
• Chemical science True cat wants to know: If Schrodinger's true cat walks into a bar...is it there?
• What practise yous call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
• A neutrino walks into a bar...just he was only passing through.
• Dogs are made upwardly of calcium, nickel and neon (CaNiNe)

What is the name of the first electricity detective?
Sherlock Ohms!

Acme Five Lies Told by Education Assistants:

1. I'm not going to grant any extensions.
2. Telephone call me anytime. I'm always available
3. It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe.
4. Call back of the midterm as a diagnostic tool.
5. My other section is much better prepared than yous guys.

If Avogadro calls, tell him to go out his number.

Never trust an atom... they brand up everything!

Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you!

"1 benzene band to rule them all,
One benzene ring to find them.
Half dozen sigma bonds to bring them all,
And in the solvent, bind them."

—  Lord Of The Hydrocarbons

My first chore was working in an orange juice mill, but I got canned; I couldn't concentrate.

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady nutrition of seagulls. Ane mean solar day his supply of the birds ran out, then he had to go out and trap some more than. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them.
Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assist of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a item fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Allow me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

A Relative Limmerick
There was an erstwhile lady called Wright
who could travel much faster than light.
She departed 1 twenty-four hours
in a relative way
and returned on the previous night.

Q: How many software engineers does it take to alter a light seedling?
A: None. That'south a hardware result.

Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a lite seedling?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Q: What did one lab rat say to the other?
A: "I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.

Physics Activist
There has been too much activity in reaction to political scandals.
Please write to your congressman to repeal Newton's third police.

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Where do y'all put muddy dishes?
The zinc

I was reading a volume on anti gravity.
I constitute it difficult to put down.

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine dearest watching together?
A: CSI

Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You lot may have graduated merely I've got many degrees"

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would accept asked for it!"

Q: What do yous practise with a ill pharmacist?
A: If you tin't helium, and y'all can't curium, then yous might likewise barium.

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The pharmacist see the glass completely total, half in the liquid state and one-half in the vapor state.

Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Godel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other ii and says, "Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it's funny or not?" Godel replies, "We tin can't know that because we're inside the joke." Chomsky says, "Of form it's funny. You lot're only telling it incorrect."

The programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the shop and pick up a loaf of staff of life. If they have eggs, become a dozen."
The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

The last words of a chemist?
"... and now for the taste test."

Why don't we take all these chemistry jokes and barium?

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church, and the priest asks "Why did you come up?"
Boson replies "Are you kidding? You can't accept mass without me!"

2 guys walk into a bar. The first guy says, "I'll accept some H2O." The second guy says, "I'll accept some H2o too."
The 2d guy died.

There'due south a ring called 1023MB. They haven't had whatsoever gigs yet.

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it'south pretty basic stuff.

What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated spirits.

Q: What exercise you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion y'all.

Q: Why did the acid get to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Q: Why does hamburger take lower energy than steak?
A: Considering information technology's in the ground state.

Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?
A: Because she was also attractive!

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.

Q: How tin y'all spot a chemist in the restroom?
A: They wash their hands earlier they get.

Titanium is the nearly amorous metallic. When information technology gets hot, it'll combine with annihilation.

Why does the bounding main roar?
You would also if you had that many crabs on your bottom.
Submitted by Kim G. - Stony Brook University

What did one paramecium say to the other paramecium? Yous're cilia than me!
Submitted by Kim G. - Stony Brook University

Leonard: Sheldon! We accept to exercise this!
Sheldon: No. we don't. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep us from dying. Everything else is optional!
--From Big Bang Theory
Submitted by Carl B at University of Denver

Mary had a little lamb, she doesn't any more than. For what she thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Trinitrotolulene to students is quite appealing. We tried some out in class today, the flooring is now the ceiling.

You Pb me to believe he'due south dead. I Zn he won't survive. Ba in the ground you fool, do you Zn he's still alive?
Submitted by Greg Due west.

Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chomatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.

Q: What practice you telephone call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Febreeze.

Sugar Cubed
Submitted past Bob at Gannon University

Q: What exercise y'all telephone call a microbiologist that has traveled to every country in the globe?
A: A man of many cultures.

A methodologist'south wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sun and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll continue the other every bit a control."

Rene Descartes is sitting in a bar, having a potable. The bartender asks him if he would like another. "I think not," he says, and vanishes in a puff of logic.

Something to Ponder:

• Can you cry nether water?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?
• Why exercise y'all have to "put your 2 cents in"...but information technology's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that actress penny going to? Taxes?
• Once yous're in heaven, exercise you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

A biologist, an engineer, and a mathematician were observing an empty building. They noted two people entering the building and sometime later observed three coming out.

The biologist remarked, "Oh they must have reproduced."
The engineer said, "Our initial count must accept been incorrect"
The mathematician stated, "Now if i more than person goes into the building it will be completely empty."

Optimism vs. Applied science

The optimist sees a drinking glass as half full.
The pessimist sees it equally half empty.
The engineer sees a drinking glass that is twice every bit big equally information technology needs to exist.

The Lady Gaga Periodic Tabular array Song:

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were given a crimson rubber brawl and told to notice the volume.

The mathematician measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.
The physicist placed the ball in a chalice of water and measured the total deportation.
The engineer looked upwardly the model and series number in his red-rubber-ball tabular array.

Star light, star vivid
First star I see this evening
I wish I may, I wish I might
Oh wait, it's just a satellite

Q: What practice programmers and cats take in mutual?
A: When either 1 is unusually excited, an advisable question is "Did you lot find a bug?"

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender says "Do you all want something to drinkable?"
The first logician says "I don't know."
The second logician says "I don't know."
The third logician says "Aye."

Funny Science Puns

1. Ratio of an igloo'south circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Fourth dimension between slipping on a skin and smacking the pavement = ane bananosecond
5. two.iv statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = i 4 League
6. Time information technology takes to canvass 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
8. One-half of a big intestine = 1 semicolon
9. one,000,000 aches = one megahurtz
10. Basic unit of measurement of laryngitis = i hoarsepower
11. Shortest altitude between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. ane million-million microphones = one megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = i decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. ten rations = 1 decoration
23. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
24. 4 nickels = 2 paradigm

Murphy's Ten Laws for Experimentalists:
(i) If something can go wrong, it will do and then just before your grant is up for review
(2) If the reading on your detector is correct, then you forgot to plug it in
(3) If several things tin can go wrong then they will do so all at the same fourth dimension
(iv) If nothing tin go wrong with your experiment, something nevertheless will
(v) Left unto itself, your experiment will go from bad to worse
On the other hand, if you pay attention to the experiment and so it volition accept 3 times longer to complete than you thought it would
(6) Nature is both subtle and malicious
(7) A straight line will never fit your data, and using a wiggly line will outcome in the rejection past referees of the publication of work
(viii) If you make a great discovery today, you will find a major error in your methods tomorrow
(9) In contrast to a radio, banging your apparatus when you are at peak frustration will non fix it just permanently break it
(10) When your experiment is just about to succeed, you will run out of grant money

One-time chemistry teachers never die, they just fail to react.

What did the biologist wear on his first date?
Designer jeans

If an experiment works, something has definitely gone wrong.

Does a radioactive cat accept 18 half-lives?

How many programmers does it have to change a low-cal bulb?
Can't be washed, lamentable, it'due south a hardware problem.

Two tectonic plates bump into each other.
Ane says, "Sorry. My fault."

A pocket-sized piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in honey with a Bunsen burner.
"Bunsen, my flame! I cook whenever I see you!" said the ice.
The Bunsen burner replied, "Information technology's only a stage you're going through."

Why are chemists corking for solving bug? They accept all the solutions.

Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull downward its genes.

Biology is the merely science in which multiplication is the same thing equally partitioning.

Q: If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you lot see? ?
A: A mole of molasses.

Q: What is the chemical name of the following benzene-similar molecule?

                      PhD    PhD          \    /          C - C          /      \         C        C         \      /          C - C                  

A: Orthodox

Q: What is the chemical name of the following benzene-like molecule?

                      4         \             C - C    four         /      \ /        C        C         \      /          C - C                  

A: Metaphor

An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, "What are you in for?" To which the latter replied, "For attempting a forbidden transition."

Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED

Q: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe

Q: What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY.

Q: Why practise chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

❤ ❤ ❤ Scientist Option-upwards Lines: ❤ ❤ ❤

• Are you the square root of two? Because I feel irrational when I am around yous.
• If I were an Enzyme, I'd be Deoxyribonucleic acid HELICASE so I could unzip your genes!
• Even if in that location were no gravity on Earth, I'd nevertheless fall for you.
• Yous're more special than relativity.
• Similar the ideal vacuum, yous're the simply matter in my universe.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, merely the reception was splendid!

A mushroom goes into in bar and says: "A circular of drinks for everyone!"
I customer says to another, "Well, he seems similar a fun guy."

There are ten types of people in the world:
Those who sympathise binary, and those who don't.

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the same side!

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are hanging out ane afternoon.
Einstein is bored, and so he suggests, "Permit's play hibernate-and-seek. I'll be it!"
The others concord, and then Einstein begins counting. "I... Two... Iii..."
Pascal runs off right abroad to notice a place to hide.
Merely Newton just takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized foursquare.
He finishes and steps into the square just every bit Einstein shouts, "Fix or not -- hither I come up!"
Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in forepart of him. He says, "I found you, Newton!"
Newton replies, "No, you found one Newton per square meter -- You found Pascal!"

Why tin't you trust atoms?
They make up everything.

Where does bad lite land?
In Prism.

A photon checks into a hotel.
The bellhop asks, "Tin can I help you with your luggage?"
It replies, "I don't have whatever. I'1000 traveling light."

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light seedling?
Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the Universe.

Two chemists walk into a bar.
The commencement says, "Ill take some H20."
The second says, "I'll have some H20 too."
The second one dies.

Q: How did the English major ascertain microtome on his biology test?
A: An itsy bitsy book.

Why practise chemists like nitrates and then much?
They're cheaper than day rates!

If H-2-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H-ii-O-CUBED

Q: What do chemists call a benzene band with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous bicycle

                      Iron - Atomic number 26         /       \        Fe       Fe         \       /          Atomic number 26 - Fe                  

Argon walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases in here!"
...Argon doesn't react.

Susan was in chemistry. Susan is no more than, for what she thought was Water was H2SO4.

A Handy Guide to Modernistic Science:

• If information technology's green or it wiggles, it's biology
• If it stinks, it'southward chemistry
• If it doesn't work, it'due south physics

Why are chemists so slap-up at solving problems? Answer: Because they have all the solutions.

We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes... only we merely update them.... periodically!

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Making bad chemical science jokes considering all the practiced ones Argon

Argent walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

(Fe)male = male with iron added for greater strength, ductility and magnetism.

Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
An ether bunny

What practise you exercise with expressionless scientists?
Barium

How does the failing chemistry student answer this exam question: "Water is the formula for h2o. What is H2O4?"
"Washing, Cleaning and Drinking"

The by, the future, and the present all walked into a room at the same fourth dimension...
It was tense.

A Neutron walked into a bar and asked the cost of a beer.
The bartender replied, "For you? No accuse."

3 statisticians go duck hunting. A duck flies by, and the showtime fires a shot, which goes a foot too high. The second tries, but his shot goes a foot too depression. The tertiary jumps up and shouts: "We got it!"

I told a chemistry joke in course, but I got no reaction.

Nitrogen asked Oxygen out on a appointment, Oxygen said NO.

Oxygen and Potassium once went on a date. Information technology went OK.

Murphy's Laws for Experimentalists:

1. if something tin can go wrong, it will exercise so just before your grant is up for review
2. if the reading on your detector is correct, then you have forgot to plug it in
3. if several things can go wrong then they will do so all at the aforementioned time
4. a direct line will never fit your information, and using a wiggly line will result in the rejection by referees of the publication of work
5. if you brand a neat discovery today, you will notice a major error in your methods tomorrow (experienced experimentalists call this effect "here today, gone tomorrow")

Superlative Reasons to exist a Chemistry Student

1. All the coffee you lot could desire
2. Cool rubber glasses
3. Exposure to all kinds of toxic and cancerous substances
4. Because information technology's pHun!
5. Admission to 100% ethanol
6. Learn to completely deliquesce the bodies of your enemies
7. Always have plans for Friday night: Work in lab
8. Want to be blamed for all faults in the environment and causes of cancer
9. Become a master chef at poverty cuisine

The Question of 2+2
Several scholars were asked "What is 2+2?"

The engineer whips out his calculator and answers "three.99."
The physicist pulls out some technical references, models the problem on the figurer and proudly announces "The answer is between iii.98 and four.02."
The statistician replied "I need more data points."
The philosopher replies "What is the pregnant of 2?"
The psychologist replies "How does 2+two brand y'all experience?"
The medical educatee replies "iv."
The others look at him and ask, "How practise you know?"
He replies, "I memorized information technology."

Water
Timmy'due south teacher asks the class, "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Timmy pipes upwards and replies, "HIJKLMNO!!!"
Timmy's teacher asks, "Where did yous get that from?"
Timmy replies, "Yesterday you lot said information technology was H to O!"

Why Science Teachers are non asked to monitor recess:

REPLIES TO AN INVITATION TO A SCIENTIST'Due south Ball

• Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.
• Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to nourish.
• Volta was electrified and Archimedes, buoyant at the idea.
• Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current inquiry.
• Ohm resisted the idea at outset.
• Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
• Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience.
• Watt reckoned it would be a good style to let off steam.
• Heisenberg was uncertain if he could make it.
• Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency.
• Henry begged off due to a depression chapters for alcohol.
• Audobon said he'd have to wing information technology.
• Hawking said he'd try to string enough time together to make a space in his schedule.
• Darwin said he'd have to run across what evolved.
• Mendel said he'd put some things together and meet what came out.
• Descartes said he'd recall about information technology.
• Newton was moved to attend.
• Pavlov was drooling at the idea.

Why practice tigers have stripes?
Then they don't get spotted.

What did the receiver say to the radio wave?
Ouch! That megahertz.

What do astronauts do when they get angry?
Blast off!

Where did the lightning bolt advise to his girlfriend?
Cloud 9.

What do y'all call ii dinosaurs that have been in an accident?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks

Teamwork is essential, because you can always blame someone else.

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Groovy Solar day Rates, Even Meliorate NO3-'south"

Why are chemists slap-up for solving problems?

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put information technology down.

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met.

The doctor tells a adult female that she has merely 6 months to live. He advises her to marry a chemist and move to Toledo.
The woman asks, "Will this cure my affliction?"
"No," replies the dr., "but it will make half-dozen months seem like a very long time."

Ii physicists walk into a bar.
The third one ducks.

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Iv. Ane to change it and 3 to write the ecology-touch statement.

Two molecules are walking down the street and they run into each other.
1 says to the other, "Are yous all correct?"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are y'all certain?"
"I'm positive!"

Blonde Scientist Joke

Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field on a fine summer mean solar day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks.
"Those are deer tracks," the showtime blonde stated.
"Oh no," she said other, "Those are definitely moose tracks."
With this, they began to contend.
In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them.

A scientist investigating beliefs in bullfrogs notices that when startled by a loud dissonance the frog jumps.

Deciding to experiment farther he yells "Jump" and notes that the frog jumps a distance of 4 feet.
He then cuts off a front leg, yells jump and the frog jumps 3 feet.
He cuts off the other front leg, yells jump; the frog jumps two feet.
He cuts off a dorsum leg, yells jump; the frog barely manages to jump half dozen inches.
Cutting off the last leg when he yells leap the frog doesn't move. He yells louder; the frog doesn't move.
In his notebook the scientist concludes: "A frog with no legs becomes deaf."

What are some of the dangers associated with DHMO?
Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major correspondent to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

Expiry due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, fifty-fifty in small quantities.
Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue impairment.
Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though non typically life-threatening side-effects.
DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
Contributes to soil erosion.
Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
Contamination of electric systems often causes short-circuits.
Exposure decreases effectiveness of car brakes.
Establish in biopsies of pre-malignant tumors and lesions.
Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino atmospheric condition effect.

(What is DHMO? world wide web.dhmo.org)

A Quote from Einstein:

"Everybody is a genius.
Merely if you judge a fish by its
ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life
believing that it is stupid."

~ Albert Einstein ~

Bread Kills!
1. More than 98 percent of bedevilled felons are bread users.
2. Fully one-half of all children who abound up in bread-consuming households score beneath average on standardized tests.
3. Every slice of bread you consume brings yous nearer to death.
4. Breadstuff is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, near all sick people have eaten bread.
The effects are obviously cumulative:
- 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten breadstuff.
- 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate breadstuff within 6 months preceding the blow.
- 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
5. Bread is fabricated from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that every bit little every bit a teaspoon of dough tin be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one solar day!
half-dozen. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a
low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson'south disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread is oft a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even common cold cuts.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following staff of life restrictions:
1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Merely Say No To Toast" campaign, complete with celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal taxation on all bread to pay for all the societal ills nosotros might acquaintance with bread.
4. The establishment of "Bread-complimentary" zones around schools.
5. Pass a law to limit all use of bread to two slices.

The Incredible Shrinking Science Jokes!
Information technology'southward a calamity.... we're running out of jokes! Practise you have a favorite scientific discipline joke that We haven't heard? Or perchance an amusing chestnut from the lab that deserves a wider audition? CP Lab Safety wants YOUR best original or classic scientist humor! Email us your submissions today!

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Source: https://www.calpaclab.com/science-jokes/